CHEWING GUM

Meditation at the dentist. The only way for me to bear what feels like some infernal sequence of torture is letting the mind wildly wander. Take, for example, the phrase “chewing gum.” A foreigner who had learned what to call the firm, fleshy tissue covering the alveolar parts of either jaw and enveloping the necks of the teeth might understand it as chewing one’s gum(s). Even more confusing are the words that are both a verb and a noun such as “rose” or the Turkish word “yüz” (which means face, hundred, swim and to skin). As if our imagination hung us all of a sudden out to dry, or maybe was fed up with inventing a word for each and every thing and so hurriedly huddles together the remaining things to be named regardless of their relevance. A strange economy. 

Come to think of it, languages’ vocabularies may as well have been developed in the various dental chairs of the world. 

ALICE’S RABBIT AND THE MISER

I watched him hurrying awkwardly. Already running late, he was performing a mysterious choreography which cost him further time. The frantic victim of the poor time-management. “You look like the Rabbit in Wonderland” I said, laughing.

What an inspiring observation these beating-the air behaviors are in someone else (as opposed to the acrid feeling of being in their grip oneself).

There seems to be a strong relation between hurry and its derivative, worry, and the resources both psychological and material.

The more anxious we are, the scarcer it feels they are, and eventually get to be.

Like money in the hand of the miser.

Or time. As long as you see it as an external oppressor, like the rabbit sees his chain watch, you will desperately try to ignore it until the last minute.

Or you can pay regard to your inner rhythms and walk gracefully.

This is the difference between running like a beheaded chicken (as we say in Turkish) and being a well adjusted dancer; The difference between hurry and excitement.

"So be calm and act counterintuitively, openhanded with what you’ve got. Time, money, love, care.. Spend (not waste), give away and offer,” I said to myself, quietly satisfied with my train of thought when the black sunglasses he left on the table caught my eye.

MORNING TEA

Let things change for they do anyway along with your interpretation of them. Don’t seek the impossible by attempting to create constant reference points, only to be frustrated, disheartened, and bitter once they lose their initial impetus. To remain alive, creative and committed invest in the appetite for life instead. Let it be the hearth fire. Things and the way you focus on come and go. Let them be like firewood. Then you can welcome change as the air that inflames the fire.. I found myself saying this while sipping on my morning tea.

OPEN SESAME!

How I love those moments of sudden lucidity!

The wheat separating from the chaff so effortlessly, so neatly that one wonders why it took so long for such a clear picture to appear.

But apparently you must be ready, or else, you’ve painted yourself badly into a corner so that this clarity occurs as a deus ex machina of sorts.

Howsoever, there you are a calm, impartial spectator of an ongoing power struggle within between light and darkness. What has thus far been a murky, paralyzing amalgam, begins to disentangle into its constituents. Sub-characters with strongly conflicting traits. And you see..

that there’s nothing wrong with embodying diametrically opposite features. They are only problematic when jumbled, when neither black nor white exists in its own right but together compose a dull gray. A muffle of energy, vitality, and joy.

As soon as they are polarized, recognized, and fully owned, a dynamic interplay begins to replace the former absorption.

A beautiful foretaste of liberation.

NOCTURNAL LEAVES

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