2013/01/15
2013/01/11
UMBILICAL CORD
“For a young and deracinated Moroccan like Moulay Brahim, radio is primarily neither a form of entertainment nor a medium of information. It is a sort of metaphysical umbilical cord – a whole manner of existence, an essential adjunct to feeling that he is in contact with life.” Paul Bowles, Travels.
Media change (alongside the identities and definition of “life”), what remains is the need for a metaphysical umbilical cord.
2013/01/03
2013/01/01
INSTEAD OF THE WILL POWER
What about my new year resolutions?
I’m rather into setting free the inner conversation so that what’s needed comes into the picture and is met naturally, willingly, flowingly with no part of the self domineering the others. This is the best substitute I could find for the will power, which doesn’t work (is not sustainable) for me: being and acting in unison as a result of inner clarity and equality so to speak.
A loving awareness, humorous, sympathetic, moving from what is and not pushing around towards what should be. Just this at hand instead of the whip called will power, which tries to conquer by harshly dividing.
So then, let’s live and see.
2012/12/25
KUZGUNCUK
A lovely neighborhood on the Asian side. Quiet, beautiful and ancient. Its name Kuzguncuk meaning the little raven.
https://picasaweb.google.com/118198168542066911108/Kuzguncuk?authkey=Gv1sRgCIOAlpmpu9OqLg#
2012/10/18
QUITTING SMOKING
The mind/will is like a boat in the sea (of both life itself and one’s own unconscious). It surely is a good thing to build a strong one so as not to sink in the first storm. Still better when the inner dynamics are so aligned that there is no distinction and you ARE both the sea and the boat. The first and last time I quit smoking, I was doing meditation. At one point, I realized that my shallow breathing was hindering me from going deeper. I had to choose. I chose meditation. Quit smoking on the spot and didn’t smoke for 8 years. Wu wei! Waiting for another favorable alignment is my delusion. Instead, I may try to build an inflatable boat and row away from that smoking island of addiction. Wouldn’t it be a nice odyssey toward breaking a deeply rooted routine with all the difficulties involved? The sheer challenge of it would be the incentive one needs when it comes to making a radical change. For we mortals need one. A better tasting carrot or a more scary stick!
Still, the thought of this makes me feel like Felix Baumgartner (as I imagine he did) just before his jump.
2012/10/08
LOVE YOUR MISTAKES
I acquired English through its similarities to French and German which I speak. That is, by osmosis. At one point, I realized I was grasping more and more not only individual bits and pieces but the very structure of it and going effortlessly deeper. It was like watching the morning mist disappear, revealing the landscape behind. A pleasant surprise.
Early on, no one really believed me when I said I didn’t know any English, not even my mother who was convinced that all I needed was to spend a couple of months in England to become fluent. And not even my bosses who dictated me their business letters or, later, let me write them by myself which I somehow managed to do.
True, I’ve got the feel of the overall structure as a kind of musical sensation specific to this language.
But this is an uneven development. While I am becoming more fluent in writing I’m still struggling with speaking. (Particularly when expressing the most ordinary things.) An oddity as frustrating as trying to tie shoe strings of which one end is extremely short!
Writing is my thing. It always has been. In writing there is no time, or it is I who set the rhythm with no outside pressure. In contrast, as soon as I open my mouth the gap is there: the discrepancy between the active and passive processing of language. Becoming paralyzingly self-conscious, I give up without even trying.
Yet all those mistakes I make –and used to hate- are not only inevitable, they are telling milestones indicating one is moving on even if slithering. And where there is movement, there also exists a potential for improvement.
And this is how I came to appreciate, even to love them.
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